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Family Guy
1999 24 seasons Comedy
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Family Guy — Season 12

About the series

An animated sitcom that turns the everyday life of a New England family into a parade of crude jokes, social satire, and pop-culture parody.

Season premiere
September 29, 2013
Episodes in the season
21
Whole season
7 h 42 min
September 29, 2013 Season fully aired May 18, 2014

Episodes

21 episodes · 7 h 42 min

  1. 29 Sep 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 1 — a still from the episode E01

    Finders Keepers

    22 min

    Peter is convinced that a restaurant placemat is a treasure map. Word quickly spreads about the alleged cache, sparking a city-wide search and turning the citizens of Quahog against each other.

  2. 6 Oct 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 2 — a still from the episode E02

    Vestigial Peter

    22 min

    After a vestigial twin grows out of Peter's neck, which he names Chip, he eventually starts realizing that people like Chip more than they like him, so Peter has him amputated. However, after Peter gets into trouble, he realizes he needs Chip more than ever.

  3. 3 Nov 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 3 — a still from the episode E03

    Quagmire's Quagmire

    22 min

    Quagmire dates a woman named Sonja, who is just as sexually active as he is, but things take a turn for the worse when she kidnaps him to be her sex slave, so Peter, Joe and Ida must search the seedy back alleys of Quahog to rescue him. In the meantime, Brian, Stewie and Rupert get involved in a most unusual love triangle.

  4. 10 Nov 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 4 — a still from the episode E04

    A Fistful of Meg

    22 min

    When Meg spills her lunch on the new kid at school, he makes plans to end her. Meanwhile, Peter keeps harassing Brian in the nude until it reaches the breaking point.

  5. 17 Nov 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 5 — a still from the episode E05

    Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee

    22 min

    The Griffins go to Italy and are faced with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys their passports.

  6. 24 Nov 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 6 — a still from the episode E06

    Life of Brian

    22 min

    Stewie and Brian travel back in time to 17th-century Jamestown and make too many close calls with changing history. Stewie decides to destroy his time machine, but comes to regret it when Brian dies after being hit by a car. Devastated by his death, the Griffin family goes out and adopts another dog from the pet store, Vinnie, who is quickly accepted by all the members of the Griffin family, other than Stewie, who can't get over the loss of Brian.

  7. 8 Dec 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 7 — a still from the episode E07

    Into Harmony's Way

    22 min

    When Peter and Quagmire discover that their singing voices create beautiful harmony together, they form a singing/songwriting team, in the vein of Simon and Garfunkel. However, tensions run high when fame gets to Peter's head.

  8. 15 Dec 2013 Family Guy, season 12, episode 8 — a still from the episode E08

    Christmas Guy

    22 min

    When Carter Pewterschmidt cancels the annual Quahog Christmas carnival, because he hates the holiday, Peter must transform his father-in-law from a Scrooge into a hometown hero in order to salvage the event. Meanwhile, Stewie devises a master plan to get the one and only thing he wants for Christmas.

  9. 5 Jan 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 9 — a still from the episode E09

    Peter Problems

    22 min

    When Peter gets fired for crashing a forklift into a business meeting, Lois takes a job at the grocery store while Peter becomes a stay-at-home dad — which leads to poor bedroom performance.

  10. 12 Jan 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 10 — a still from the episode E10

    Grimm Job

    22 min

    From Grimm to Griffin, three classic fairy tales get a new Quahog spin, including "Jack and the Beanstalk," "Little Red Riding Hood" and "Cinderella."

  11. 26 Jan 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 11 — a still from the episode E11

    Brian's a Bad Father

    22 min

    Brian tries to use Dylan's television connections to further his career.

  12. 9 Mar 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 12 — a still from the episode E12

    Mom's the Word

    22 min

    When Peter's mother dies, he befriends her longtime pal Evelyn, who tries to seduce him. In the meantime, Stewie feels despair upon dealing with the realities of death.

  13. 16 Mar 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 13 — a still from the episode E13

    3 Acts of God

    22 min

    Peter grows frustrated when players on opposing teams continue to thank God after defeating his beloved New England Patriots football team, so he and the guys embark on a global quest to find God and ask Him to stop interfering with the outcome of professional football games.

  14. 23 Mar 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 14 — a still from the episode E14

    Fresh Heir

    22 min

    Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.

  15. 30 Mar 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 15 — a still from the episode E15

    Secondhand Spoke

    22 min

    Peter takes up smoking cigarettes, and is approached by Mr. Stone, an advertising executive who wants Peter to be the face of his anti-smoking campaign under the caveat that Peter continues to smoke. Meanwhile, Stewie helps Chris battle bullies at school.

  16. 6 Apr 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 16 — a still from the episode E16

    Herpe, the Love Sore

    22 min

    Brian gives Stewie an STD. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys fight back when another group claims their booth at The Drunken Clam.

  17. 13 Apr 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 17 — a still from the episode E17

    The Most Interesting Man in the World

    22 min

    When Peter takes Stewie to the park for some quality father-son time, he mistakenly takes the wrong baby home, prompting Lois to call him an idiot. Determined to prove to her that he's a responsible adult, Peter goes on a business trip to Chicago and returns as an intelligent, classy person.

  18. 27 Apr 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 18 — a still from the episode E18

    Baby Got Black

    22 min

    Chris is forbidden to see Jerome's daughter Pam, so when the kids run away together, Jerome and Peter must work together to find them.

  19. 4 May 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 19 — a still from the episode E19

    Meg Stinks!

    22 min

    Meg has fun partying with Peter when he takes her to a college for an interview. Brian must learn how to live in the wild when he gets sprayed by a skunk and is prohibited from entering the house.

  20. 11 May 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 20 — a still from the episode E20

    He's Bla-ack!

    22 min

    Cleveland returns to town, but is instantly banned from spending time with Peter when Lois and Donna get into a big fight over parenting.

  21. 18 May 2014 Family Guy, season 12, episode 21 — a still from the episode E21

    Chap Stewie

    22 min

    When Peter and Chris interrupt Stewie's TV time, the angry baby goes back in time to break up Peter and Lois so he's never conceived, but is shocked when he is reborn into a "Downton Abbey"-esque British household.